I've been watching Jon's language demos and Telemetry seems really awesome, I emailed RAD about it but they never got back to me and I suspect it's going to be pricey anyway. Vtune also looks like a good one but it's like $900 or something dumb (for a solo indie developer). Are there any good profilers that work similarly to those that people here have used and like?

There is CxxProfiler in the handmade projects and Very Sleepy that are free. I believe Visual Studio also has a profiler.
But they are not the same as Telemetry that requires you to instrument the code (I guess, I never used it), they take snapshots of the callstack at intervals to determine how much time is spent in functions, so you don't get the granularity you may want. They also don't display graphs of the datas.
Depending on your needs a "simple profiler" can be made relatively quickly.